So what about apartment dwelling?

Mr. Grumpy declared the other day that he feels I need to live up more to my header up there, where I claim to talk about apartment dwelling. I thought talking about the hardships good times of living with Mr. Grumpy was enough to let you in on what apartment dwelling was like, but alas. He’s right. I haven’t given you an apartment DIY project in quite some time. 

His exact words were, “All people are going to think we do is eat.” Which is really all we do, but to throw you off a bit, I’m sharing this fun yet equally frustrating DIY project my BFF Ashley and I attempted after finding it on Pinterest. Of course, when we found it on Pinterest, it had no instructions with it. So, naturally, we improvised (we’re not this talented). 

I’m not going to lie – this took us a good five hours. One footlong sub and an entire jug of Mod Podge later, we were pretty convinced that A) we should not be allowed to craft and B) the Mod Podge may never come off our bodies … ever. We were COVERED in Mod Podge, but when we finally finished this, boy were we proud. So, if you’re feeling brave, go ahead and give this a try. It’s a fun little piece for your gallery wall or for a fun housewarming present. 

What You’ll Need:

• 1 small blank canvas (we got ours at Wal-Mart. They were about 8.5×11)
• Scrapbooking paper of different patterns
• Scissors
• A bottle of Mod Podge
• Foam paint brushes 
• Your dignity (you’ll loose this later, after four hours of cutting and gluing and realizing you have to start over because you laid out all your paper slices and realized you forgot to put the Mod Podge on the canvas… I digress)

First, you should start by cutting out your strips of paper. It is really important that they are all the same size. Ours were about a half-inch wide and 4 inches long. It depends on how wide you want your chevron. Or how well you’re planning ahead. You’ll need about 30 strips. 

Next, Ashley and I laid out our strips of paper. Actually, we laid them out so perfectly that we realized we forgot to Mod Podge the back of them. Don’t make this mistake. Slowly, place the first strip on the upper left corner of your canvas so it dips in toward the middle. Press that down lightly so the Mod Podge sticks to the canvas.

Next, take another strip (different pattern) and, in the opposite direction, place its edge up against the first strip’s end, leaving a bit of a gap. It will look like a V block letter from college shirts. Each edge will meet each other and create a new row, moving downward. Repeat this until you’ve covered the entire canvas. It’s almost like braiding your hair – so, one strip’s end will be the next’s starting place. 

Then, once all your strips are placed, cover the entire canvas with a thin layer of Mod Podge. Make sure that there are no bubbles on your strips – if there are, gently press them down. Next, your edges will still be sticking out. Begin on one end, and gently fold them down and around to the back of your canvas. Mod Podge the edges down and place the entire piece of art on a canvas to dry. It won’t take long to dry. We used the glossy Mod Podge to add to the finish of the … dare I say… art. 

Proud??? You should be. This baby was tough. (Thanks, Pinterest)

Weeknight Dinner: Fantasy Football Crock Pot Meatballs, A Day Late

Mr. Grumpy and I had committed this weekend to running 9 miles as part of my half-marathon training. So, naturally we waited until Sunday when it was 90 degrees outside. It. Was. A. Nightmare.

We drove out to the Cleveland Towpath for our nice, sunny run. Now, mind you, we had not been outside for nearly 36 hours (remember, Downton Abbey addiction?) and were not expecting the heat. In fact, before we left, I asked Mr. Grumpy if it was cool outside and he answered, “Yeah.” Which I now realize means he wasn’t listening to me… (shocker).

I thought, it can’t be that bad trying to run 9 miles in the sun. So, we began our trek down the trail, smiling at cyclists and runners alike as they passed by. Then, the first mile passed and I thought, “Man! This is going to be so easy.”

Cut to me at 4.5 miles down the trail. Dying, practically. Most likely having a stroke from overheat. And dare I say it, my ankle hurt. I was in poor form, friends. So naturally, as any calm girl in half-marathon training would, I flung myself onto the grass and pretended to pass out. When I looked up at Mr. Grumpy to see his reaction, I was not surprised to see him hovering over me, unconcerned, hands on hips with one of his unapproving glances (like this one, but he was wearing running clothes):

Also, while I was drenched in sweat (and now subsequently covered in dirt and grass), he was not even glistening. He was NOT EVEN PANTING. So, now I completely question whether or not Mr. Grumpy is an actual human. I’m sleeping with one eye open, but really. 90 degrees and you’re not even tired. You must be from another galaxy. Right???

So needless to say, we only managed 6.5 miles Sunday. But I am not giving up. And neither should you if you’re training like I am. Seriously – we’re almost there!

Anyway … I was really excited about a funny surprise I had planned for my alien boyfriend on Tuesday. Mr. Grumpy had mentioned that his Fantasy Football draft was that day, and I was so excited to make him faux Super Bowl dinner – aka, those delish crock pot meatballs that everyone knows about. I thought it would be a fun way to celebrate every girlfriend’s favorite time of the year – football season. Sigh. [INSERT FAKE SMILE HERE]

But, as you know, Mr. Grumpy and I are trying to be healthy and watch what we eat. I decided that after dealing with my meltdown on the towpath Mr. Grumpy deserved a little BBQ sauce in his life, so this was my happy compromise. I found the recipe for the meatballs on Cookin’ Canuck, and adapted it to be more BBQ-friendly. I liked the idea of using quinoa and zucchini to thicken up the meatballs. Plus, I had zucchini left over from our taco boats on Monday – awesome! In fact, I made these Monday night before I made the boats, and then just heated the meatballs up on Tuesday. It was SO NICE coming home to a crock pot meal, let me tell you. Phew.

So, what’s up with my headline? A day late, you ask? Well, yeah. His fantasy draft was actually on Monday. So I was a day late with this one – but it’s the thought that counts, right? I TRIED, OK?!?!

What You’ll Need:

• 1 lb ground turkey
• 1/2 cup quinoa
• 4 slices of light oatmeal bread
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 tsp seasoning salt
• 1/2 tsp ground black pepper
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/2 white onion, grated
• 1/2 cup of zucchini, chopped (smoosh the water out of it)
• 1 tbsp ketchup
• 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
• 1 12 oz. jar grape jelly
• 1 18 oz. bottle of your favorite BBQ sauce

First, preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Next, in a small saucepan, boil 1 cup of water with the 1/2 cup of quinoa mixed in. Boil on full speed for 5 minutes, then cover and remove from heat. Let it sit covered like that for 15 minutes.

In the meantime, in a mixing bowl, mix together all the ingredients EXCEPT the grape jelly and BBQ sauce. Now, because this is made out of ground turkey, it’s not going to feel as thick and sticky as the meatlballs you’re used to using ground chuck/beef. That’s ok – these will turn out really moist (hate this word), and I promise you’ll like them! Once your quinoa is done cooking, add that into the meat mixture. Stir everything together until it’s nicely combined.

On a large baking dish, spray it completely with olive oil-based cooking spray. Then, using a large melon baller, dish out your meatballs. They should be about 1.5″ large. About the size of your palm. Unless you’re a fembot and have really small hands. Then… just guess. (Eye roll)

Bake your meatballs on the mid-top rack (a few inches from the top) for 10 minutes. You want them to get nice and brown around the edges, but stay moist (really, really, really hate this word) on the inside. They won’t be completely done, but that’s ok because they’ll cook more in the crock pot.

Next, in your small crock pot, combine the grape jelly and the BBQ sauce. Once your meatballs are done cookin’, add them into your crock pot. Cook that on low for 6 hours. Stir gently every once and a while to make sure they are evenly coated. And…. enjoy! Even if you don’t have the fantasy draft binging every five minutes in the background (Mr. Grumpy, it must be your pick AGAIN!) 

We wrapped ours up in leaves of Boston Lettuce – like lettuce wraps! 

 

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Weeknight Dinner: Zucchini Taco Boats

Weeknight Dinner: Zucchini Taco Boats

Well, let’s just make it a theme here, people. Why NOT have tacos again? I can feel you judging me, but for some reason – lately, Mexican food has just sounded really good (even though the heartburn after has not felt necessarily great).

But before we dig in, I must tell you about Mr. Grumpy’s and my new favorite thing: Downton Abbey. Suzie Q and DS decided to buy the entire series on DVD and the last time we were in Findlay, we decided to borrow them. Also, Mr. Grumpy was feeling … grumpy … because Suzie Q had borrowed a book from his side of the bookshelf at our apartment and he was not convinced that he would ever see that book again. So, I think he wanted to get even. Even though Suzie Q promptly returned the book the following weekend… I digress.

Downton Abbey is pretty good. But what makes it slightly bittersweet is that I’m so in love with the entire family at the abbey, that I fear I’m mistaking my own life for theirs. For example, instead of getting my OWN glass of water, I’ve taken to saying, “Mr. Grumpy, be a dear and fetch me a glass of water.” I also asked Mr. Grumpy to buy me a bell so when I woke up in the morning, I could ring my bell and he would know to come frolicking in the room with a tray of coffee and biscuits. He was not really keen on that idea, but I think he’ll come around.

So, Mr. Grumpy and I decided that, instead of being around people this weekend, we would hide in our apartment (which our dear friends Kelsey and B-Rad have started calling the Cave) and watch half the series. Then, after not emerging for two days, we decided it was time to get outside and see if the sun was actually shining. It was…

After making Mr. Grumpy wait on me like a butler all weekend, I decided it was time to treat him to a night off the dishes. In fact, I even made two dinners tonight (one for my crock pot which I’ll tell you about later this week) and tonight’s dinner. AND THEN I DID ALL THE DISHES. And boy, am I a messy girl. But I can’t help it. These hands weren’t meant for this type of hardship. Right, Downton gals? Right.

But, it was all worth it for these Zucchini Taco Boats. These babies were so delicious that Mr. Grumpy even emerged from behind his laptop screen (it was Fantasy Football night) and asked me if he could have seconds. Awes. Ome.

I adapted this recipe from SkinnyTaste – one of my go-to places for healthy-like recipes. Her recipe made only four boats, but mine made six. I’m not sure why… but I was not complaining.

What You’ll Need:

• 3 medium-sized zucchini
• 1 lb 85-15 ground beef (or 90-10 is cool too)
• 1 package of low-sodium taco seasoning
• 1/2 white onion, chopped
• 1/2 green pepper, chopped
• 1/2 red pepper, chopped
• 1/2 cup taco sauce
• 2/3 cup water
• 1/2 cup fresh salsa (your favorite kind!)
• 6 tbsp plain, non-fat greek yogurt
• 4 green onions, chopped
• 1 cup organic, Mexican shredded cheese blend

First, preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Put a large pot of salted water on the stove, and bring it to a boil. Slice your zucchini in half, long-ways. Then, take a melon baller and gently remove the middle from the zucchini. Save 1/2 cup of the middle part and save the rest for the recipe I’m making later this week (Super Bowl in August Meatballs!). It should look like this when you’re done!

In a medium pan, brown your meat. Drain the fat. Add the water and taco seasoning, plus the onion and red and green peppers. Stir, and then add in the taco sauce. Cover and let that simmer on low for 10 minutes. Remove the cover and let it simmer for another 10 minutes.

Now, your water should be boiling by now. Place your zuccini boats gently in the water for 1 minute. Remove immediately and set aside.

In a large baking dish, pour the salsa on the bottom and make sure it’s spread evenly. Then, once your meat mixture is done simmering, spoon it into each boat and press down lightly to make sure it’s really packed. Each boat will get about 1/3 to 1/2 cup of the meat mixture. Place each boat on top of the salsa in your baking dish. Not going to lie – you will likely burn your fingers a bit here (because I did!). Sprinkle the Mexican blend cheese on top, and cover with aluminum foil. Bake in the oven for 25 minutes. Remove from the oven, and let it set for 5-10 minutes, depending on how long you can wait to eat it because it will smell SO GOOD. 

Once you’re ready to eat, sprinkle green onions on top and a dollup of Greek yogurt. You can sprinkle shredded lettuce on the top too! But, you also really don’t need these toppings because this is really, really tasty. I promise.

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Weeknight Dinner: Lo-Cal Chipotle Bean Burritos

As you know, Mr. Grumpy and I are working on making healthier eating choices. Mr. Grumpy thinks that means just eating less Nerds and sour gummy worms. I know. I’m beside myself.

The other night at dinner, Mr. Grumpy (whilst eating his first entree salad in like … four years) told me about this book he’d been reading called Born to Run. This book has really inspired him – in fact, he was so inspired he decided to give ME tips on cooking healthier dinners for the two of us… That’s right. You read that correctly. He gave ME tips on cooking us healthier meals. Readers, I have to say in my defense – I eat and cook in a relatively healthy way. There are ways to be healthy without dieting. One of those ways is not eating an entire box of Triscuits in one sitting, no?

My head was telling me that I should explain to Mr. Grumpy that it was not I who was forcing him to eat unhealthy foods – such as Tootsie Roll Pops by the dozen. However, I sought to find a recipe that would, once again, gain Mr. Grumpy’s approval. Then, I cooked it for him on an evening that I knew he wouldn’t be home. Just for revenge reasons, of course. (I was having another one of my moments…).

Now, I’ve had a fixin’ lately for Mexican food. In fact, Sunday evening, I begged Mr. G to take me on a road trip back to our old stomping ground – Lakewood, where the closest Taco Bell is. Yes, I said Taco Bell. Sorry, I’m not sorry. Those Doritos Tacos Locos (or whatever those things are called) are my guilty pleasure. And ice cream. Which I ate after I downed $8 worth (Mr. G also ordered $8 worth of TBell) of Cool Ranch tacos. El hell yeah-o.

So, I decided we needed to find an alternative to eating at this joint, and found this recipe in a 2010 issue of Cooking Light, which I adapted to Mr. G and I’s liking. Even though the picture looks like this is oozing with calories and fat, it’s actually good for you – especially when you have been running as much as I have. When I told Mr. Grumpy we were having these for dinner he said (and I quote!), “You. Amazing.” AND he even put a smiley face in there. It was a pretty unique situation. I think we’re making strides here, Mr. G. 

Here’s What You’ll Need:

• 1 tbsp olive oil
• 1 clove garlic, smooshed and chopped into little pieces
• 1/4 tsp chili powder
• 1/8 tsp salt
• 1/4 cup water
• 1 can organic (no-sodium) black beans, drained
• 1 can organic (no-sodium) pinto beans, drained
• 2 tsp chipotle pepper paste (comes in a can)
• 3 tbsp salsa
• 1 cup grape tomatoes, chopped
• 1 cup Romaine lettuce, chopped
• 4 tbsp Organic Valley Mexican cheese blend
• 4 tbsp green onions, thinly sliced
• 4 tbsp non-fat, plain Greek yogurt
• 4 100-calorie tortillas (La Tortilla Factory makes a great package of these)

First, chop all your veggies. You’ll thank me later on this one because once you smell the goodiness of the beans cooking and that chipotle sauce, you’re going to want to just eat the burrito filling right out of the pan. This way, you can compile your burrito pronto, and get ready for your post-burrito siesta.

Next, heat your oil over medium heat. Add the chili powder and the salt, and stir for 30 seconds. Add the water and stir. Add the drained beans and chiptole paste. Stir. Still over medium heat, let that come to a boil. Turn the heat down to medium-low, and let the liquid cook off by simmering the mixture for 10-11 minutes. There will still be some liquid left, and that’s fine.

Next, add the 3 tbsp of salsa into the bean mixture and remove it from heat. Smoosh about 2/3 of the beans with a fork. Stir again. You’ll notice that this really thickens it up, which is really great.

Now, let’s put those burritos together. First, wrap your tortillas in a paper towel, and microwave them for 30 seconds. On each burrito, place 1/3 cup of bean mixture, 1/4 cup tomatoes, 1 tbsp green onions, 1 tbsp Greek yogurt, 1/4 cup lettuce and 1 tbsp cheese. If you’re feeling frisky, you could add olives or green chiles (though to warn you, this already has a bit of a kick to it). We didn’t – I wasn’t feeling that frisky. Wrap that baby up, and cut in half to make for easy eating. Or wrap it in foil, and it’s the perfect lunch or picnic entree. Why? Because it’s just as good cold. So delish.

Cooking Light‘s version didnt include calories, so I put this into my UP Band by Jawbone app and 1 burrito has about 530 calories. Not too bad for a dinner, right?? Right!! Now, enjoy that fast so you can go take a nap. You’ve earned it. (As a side note – this makes four burritos. Just in case you were wondering… or didn’t feel like doing math. I dislike math, so I totally get that.) 

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Weeknight Dinner: Salmon Patties with Cucumber-Dill Sauce

So, mostly everyone knows that the most important thing in my life (other than Mr. Grumpy) is the Backstreet Boys. Duh. This has been going on for quite some time – if you recall a former post in which I alerted you to this character flaw amazing part of me (Remember me, BSB? That girl who chased down your tour bus? Did I come on too strong??)

Naturally then, when the BSB came to Cleveland to perform right across the river from my apartment at Nautica Pavilion, you best believe I was there, sitting on the grass, with my best friend Ashley who loves the BSB almost as much as me, with a beer in my travel mug. Hell. yeah. 

Many years ago, Suzie Q and DS used to camp out for several hours so we could get FRONT ROW tickets to the BSB. Of course, since then, they’ve taken me off Steiner Family Life Support (aka, DS cut up my credit card), and therefore instead of enjoying the BSB from inside the Pavilion, I must sit out on the grass singing at the top of my lungs (need I mention the beer in the travel mug again?) like a crazy homeless person. It’s fine though. I’m a pretty good singer, and also know all the words to every single one of the Backstreet Boy’s albums, so I don’t think I was too concerned about what people may think. Also, Ashley was NOT embarrassed when I asked her to arrive at my apartment three hours in advance of the BSB performing, and when I answered the door with 20 boneless buffalo wings wearing a Backstreet Boys t-shirt, telling her to hurry up and eat – it was time. See the excitement on our faces? I will never throw this BSB t-shirt away. Never. No matter what happens.

Now, where was Mr. Grumpy you ask? Well let me ask you a question. Knowing Mr G the way you do – where do you think he was? Out on the grass sharing in this irreplaceable moment with Ashley and I? Nope! Hiding in our apartment where he was disappointed to learn he could STILL HEAR THEM even after turning up the volume on his Nintendo all the way? Bingo. Needless to say, he was not pleased when we came home, empty travel mugs in hand, to sing him all the songs the BSB sang (I’m pretty sure AJ waved at me… yes, from across the river. I realize how irrational this sounds. Just go with it).

To make matters worse, I had yet to tell Mr. Grumpy that coming up on our menu for dinner this week would be the dreaded SALMON. Which he thinks is way too healthy for him. And to make things even WORSER (right, it’s not a word), there would be no cheese in this dinner. So, I wanted to surprise Mr. Grumpy and make up for the seranading and salmoning by getting him a special present to distract him while we ate dinner.

I had received a gift card to use at Nautica Pavilion since I’m such a loyal customer (this is the girl who sits across the river for free, so I’m not sure why they think I’m loyal?). So right before I left work, I checked to see what shows were up and if any, by the grace of God, were ones that Mr. G would like. And lo-and-behold – there they were. The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Mr. Grumpy’s all time FAVORITE band.

I immediately started signing up for tickets.

Now, let me warn you, readers. If you ever purchase tickets for a show online – you better check the name of the band. And then DOUBLE-CHECK IT. And then, make sure that you copy and paste it’s title into Google to triple-check it.

Why? Well, because if you do not, you’ll end up with General Admission tickets to see these guys:

(Photo courtesy of Allareas.de)

That’s right, folks. The Red Hot Chilli Pipers. Coming to Cleveland on August 20. Better get ‘yer bagpipe-listening ears ready (this is code word for ear plugs). Because … and this is according to their website … they apparently … um. Rock.

Awesome.

So, I went home – empty handed, ready to cook Mr. Grumpy his dinner – Salmon Patties with Cucumber-Dill Sauce. And boy were these bad boys delicious. When Mr. G. took his very first bite, his eyes got wide from shock that he could like something A) without cheese and B) from the sea. It. Happened. And it can happen to you. I adapted this recipe from Coastal Living magazine, which posted its 25 favorite salmon recipes, one of them being a Salmon Burger recipe.

Here’s What You’ll Need:

•  1 1/4 lb fresh, boneless Alaskan salmon with the skin cut off (your seafood butcher … seafood butcher? you know what I mean… can help you with this. It’s about two pieces slightly larger than the size of your hand. Unless you have Princess Cinderella hands. Then it’s about four slices the size of princess hands…)
• 1/8 cup red onion, diced
• 1/8 cup red pepper, diced
• 1 tbsp Spanish olives, diced
• 1 tbsp Dijon mustard
• 1/4 cup fat-free, plain Greek yogurt, plus an extra 1/2 cup
• 4 slices of light Pepperidge Farm oatmeal bread
• 1 large egg
• 3 cloves of garlic
• 1 1/2 tbsp cucumber, diced
• 2 tsp fresh dill, diced and divided
• 1 tsp Lemon Pepper McCormick’s Seasoning (seriously, why haven’t you bought this yet?!)
• 1/2 tsp salt, divided
• 4 tbsp olive oil, divided
• 5 Hawaiian bread rolls (we buy Sister Schubert’s. It’s frozen and then you heat it up in the oven)
• Toppings for your Salmon sandwiches: cucumber slices, tomato slices, red onion, lettuce 

First, chop all your ingredients. Then, cut your salmon into small slices – about 1 inch wide in cubes. Place that in a food processor. Then, add the red onion, red pepper, olives, Dijon, bread and garlic into the food processor. Combine the ingredients on low in your food processor until the salmon chunks have turned into what I really don’t want to call it – a pasty-like mixture. Basically, it would look like ground chicken looks almost. You can leave some chunks of salmon, but for the most part, it should be pretty smooth. Then, slide the mixture into a mixing bowl, and add 1 tsp of dill, 1/4 cup of Greek yogurt, Lemon Pepper McCormick’s seasoning, 1/4 tsp salt, and the egg. Stir gently until the egg is combined in with the rest of the ingredients. Form small patties with the mixture, slightly larger than the size of your hand. This will make about five patties.

Then, heat 2 tbsp of olive oil on a grilly skillet (seriously, still don’t know what the BEEP this thing is called. It’s that pan with the grill marks on it… you know??) over medium heat. Don’t overheat the skillet because your salmon patties will burn on the outside before cooking all the way through. Add the first three patties to the pan, and cook for three minutes, until the outer layer is nice and crispy and it starts to look white-ish on the sides. Flip, and cook for another 2-3 minutes. Remove from the pan and place on a paper towel. Heat the remaining olive oil. Add the remaining patties, and repeat the steps I just told you.

In the meantime … (aka, make Mr. G do this), combine the remaining Greek yogurt and dill, along with the diced cucumber and the remaining salt. 

We turned our into sandwiches, which was a definite treat. But if you’re trying to avoid bready carbs, you could just eat the patty with a dollop of the sauce. If you’re training for a half-marathon and could USE the carbs…. then do this:

Put together your salmon sammies by placing the patty on the bun, adding a dollop of your Cucumber-Dill sauce, and toppings of your choice. And watch the magic happen on your Mr. Grumpy’s face. I seriously was shocked he liked these. 

Ok, I was actually shocked I liked these because I’m pretty hot and cold when it comes to seafood – especially fish that’s not crabby legs (my all-time favorite thing ever. Maybe because I like to WORK for my food…). But, they are so tasty. And such a great, healthy way to enjoy a burger-like dinner without the calories. The patties also make for great lunch leftovers the next day on a bed of lettuce greens! (Just don’t microwave it – it’s bad coworker etiquette).

Plus, I’m pretty sure they said at some point that salmon makes you smarter, which is never a bad thing, right? Right. So, enjoy friends! And wish us luck while the Red Hot Chilli Pipers are in town!

PS: What are other burger alternatives to save yourself from the calories? Tell me!! Tell me now!!!

PPS: Although Mr. Grumpy DID like my dinner, he also disappeared for a few minutes and came back from the Market downstairs with an ENTIRE BOX of sour gummy worms. Well, at least I tried! 

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Weeknight Dinner: Buffalo Chicken Hot Quinoa Salad

My dear friend over on her blog posted the other day about her husband’s love for pizza. I was literally beside myself – I had just had a conversation with Mr. Grumpy about how much pizza we’d been eating lately. Her post could not have come at a more perfect time. This was not a complete surprise because our boys happen to be extremely similar. In so many ways. And – big shocker here – they share a deep love for pizza (and one another…). Mr. Grumpy would eat pizza every day if he could – and sometimes, I think he secretly does (I can’t control what he eats for lunch, right?).

Lately, we’ve been ordering a buffalo mac ‘n’ cheese pizza from Barley House, which is dangerously right across the street from our apartment. This pizza is a five-pound gain in a box. Seriously. I don’t know why we order it. Ok… yes I do. A) Barley House is dangerously close; and B) that pizza is dangerously good. I’m talking the most perfect pizza dough topped with ranch dressing, macaroni noodles, cheddar cheese, buffalo chicken and celery. Then they drizzle it with more buffalo sauce and sprinkle on a layer of … more cheese. Hello, I’m avoiding the scale for three weeks after that guilt trip. 

One night, I was trying to be good, and ordered a salad while Mr. Grumpy ordered himself a buffalo chicken pizza. As I was drooling over Mr. Grumpy’s pizza, I decided I would allow myself ONE SLICE of pizza because I was trying to be good but also deserved happiness in my life. While enjoying my one slice of heaven, I looked away from my salad for ONE MINUTE and looked back only to find Mr. Grumpy with a mouth full of lettuce and the largest puppy eyes I’ve ever seen. He had eaten my entire salad. And the rest of the pizza. That’s the night I banned any and all pizza.

So, I needed to find a way to curb Mr. Grumpy’s cheesy, carby cravings while answering MY cravings for all things buffalo. Well, a great substitution for pizza is not eating pizza… I’m serious. You can’t really substitute anything for pizza. Let’s be real here, people. But, you can substitute macaroni noodles with quinoa. Right? Right. So I got to cooking.

Enter Buffalo Chicken Hot Quinoa Salad – not “hot” because it’s spicy, but “hot” because it’s a warm, ooey gooey bowl of buffalo yumminess that will melt in your mouth.

What You’ll Need:

• 3/4 cup quinoa (I use the mix of red, black and white quinoa because it has a really nice taste but is also very pretty)
• 1 cup organic, low sodium vegetable stock
• 1/2 lb thinly sliced chicken breasts
• 1/2 cup Frank’s buffalo sauce, plus 1/3 cup 
• 1/3 cup non-fat, plain greek yogurt
• 1 tsp non-dairy butter made from olive oil (we use Earth Balance)
• 1/2 sweet, white onion, chopped
• 1 tsp organic skim milk
• 1 tbsp non-fat Ranch dressing
• 1 cup broccoli slaw (you can buy this in a bag next to the bags of lettuce)
• 1/3 cup non-fat shredded cheddar cheese 
• Gorgonzola cheese to sprinkle (not more than 1 tbsp)
• Salt & pepper to taste 

First, marinate your chicken about an hour prior to cooking. Place your chicken in a medium mixing bowl and pour 1/2 cup of Frank’s buffalo sauce over the chicken. Sprinkle with salt and pepper, and stir making sure all your chicken is nicely coated. Cover with plastic wrap and let that sit for at LEAST 30 minutes prior to cooking (I did it for an hour).

Next, place your vegetable stock in a medium pan and bring to a rapid boil. Add your quinoa, and reduce your heat to low so the stock simmers. Place the lid on the pan and let that simmer for 12 minutes. Once the 12 minutes is up, remove it from the heat while leaving the lid on. Let that sit for five minutes.

In the meantime, heat 1 tsp non-dairy butter in a small pan over medium heat. Place the onions in the pan, and let that cook – stirring occasionally – for about 6 minutes. Next, add the Greek yogurt, milk and cheese. Stir frequently until a thick cheese sauce is created.

Heat your grill or a skillet pan. Spray with olive oil non-stick cooking spray. Cook your chicken – about 3-4 minutes on each side. Dice into small, bite-size pieces.

In a small mixing bowl, combine the Ranch dressing with the remainder of the buffalo sauce. Add the broccoli slaw and the chicken, and toss.

Combine cooked quinoa, broccoli slaw and chicken, and the cheese sauce into your mixing bowl. Stir until everything is nicely coated. Separate into two small baking dishes, and sprinkle 1/2 tbsp of Gorgonzola cheese over the top (this is optional, but GOOD!). Turn on your broiler. Place your dishes under the broiler on high for 2 minutes, until the cheese softens. And … enjoy your dinner without the guilt trip you’ll give yourself later!!

Also, did you know that Frank’s buffalo sauce has ZERO calories? I saw that on its label today and thought I was FOR SURE hallucinating. I was not. At least I don’t think I was, but I could still be hallucinating on that one. Ah-mah-zing. Thank you Frank. Whomever you are…

What are ways YOU curb your cravings for not-so-good for you food?

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Snack Attack: Froyo Blueberries

This weekend, I went to see Mr. Grumpy compete in an obstacle course. He was participating in the Cleveland Corporate Challenge on behalf of his company – and if his team won, the money they raised went to a local charity of their choice. Very cool. (Hey, just because he’s grumpy doesn’t mean he doesn’t like to help people!)

So, after I did this:

Wo000ohoo! It was actually about 6 miles, my GPS was a little off.

…I went to meet up with Mr. Grumpy to watch him compete. He was SUPPOSED to run at 11 a.m., and I was right on time. As I was driving over to the park, I said to myself, “Cari, maybe you should have worn sunscreen.” And then immediately dismissed myself since I would only be at the park for 30 minutes.

Five hours later, we were STILL at the park. And I was pretty badly sunburned. So sunburned in fact that I am now a blister queen. It’s pretty bad. I took a picture of myself so you could see how red I am:

I thought it was time the world saw this. This is me. At my first dance recital. I was a sweet ass lobster. This is basically what my body looks like right now. Minus the tinsel. (Thanks for that awesome lipstick, Mom)

So, Monday evening, instead of meeting up with a dear friend and watching the Indians play the Tigers, I sadly went home and lathered aloe on my back for the entire evening and stocked up on Motrin. I kept asking Mr. Grumpy to do me favors but he was not very pleased with my neediness. He claimed he couldn’t help me until the dishes were done, which ended up taking him 2 hours (no, this is not an exaggeration).

I needed a sweet treat that made me cool on the inside, even though my skin felt like a built-in heater. But, as you know I’m trying to not waste all the calories I lose by running by eating ice cream and drinking beer. So, I made these babies on Sunday night, and busted them out on Monday. It was the perfect answer to my troubles. So perfect, I wanted to just place them on my sunburn – but they were way too tasty to waste.

Froyo Bluberries – the ice cream alternative

What You’ll Need:

• 1/2 cup vanilla, non-fat Greek yogurt (I buy the Dannon Light & Fit)
• 1 cup fresh blueberries, rinsed
• Room in your freezer for a baking sheet or plate

Sorry, we couldn’t get a really good picture of the froyo blueberries. Mostly because they were in my belly. Just imagine these, but white. And cold. The first image doesn’t really do them justice.

First, make sure after you rinse your bluberries you dry them completely. Otherwise, the yogurt won’t stick to them. Then, line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Next, one-by-one, roll each blueberry in the vanilla yogurt, so they are completely coated.

Place gently on the baking sheet. Once the blueberries are all covered and on the baking sheet, gently cover with plastic wrap. Place in the freezer overnight. Once the yogurt is set, you can transfer them into a Ziplock bag or a freezer-safe container. But don’t do it like I did and put it in the Ziplock BEFORE the yogurt is dry. You’ll have yourself a chunk of blueberry yogurt ice blocks.

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Weeknight Dinner: Spaghetti Squash with Cheesy Chicken Meatballs

Dear Readers. I have missed you so much. Did you miss me? It sure has been a crazy three weeks! No, I haven’t abandoned you – I was just not here behind my little laptop on my comfy couch. What was I doing? Working, watching Imagine Dragons in concert, going to a luau on Lake Erie, going to bridal showers and feeding Mr. Grumpy turkey sandwiches, oatmeal and peanut butter banana sandwiches (recipe to come).

The recipe for the perfect peanut butter sandwich? Toast the bread, spread the peanut butter, place your naner slices on top, sprinkle with cinnamon sugar… OH MY GOD IT IS SO GOOD.

During this hiatus, I was able to spend a few days in Findlay with Suzie Q and DS, where my mom told me it was time I go on a diet. Ok – that’s an exaggeration. What really happened was that I told Suzie Q I needed to go on a diet, and she didn’t disagree. (Awesome). We decided to go on my diet AFTER we made these super yummy chocolate-covered strawberries:

Now, even though Mr. Grumpy thinks I’m just as BEE-U-TI-FUL as the day we met, I’ve gotten a little chunkier than I used to be. Listen, people. It’s called AGING. You can’t eat three boxes of mac n cheese and still expect to fit into your leggings from 7th grade. You can’t eat an entire pint of Mitchell’s ice cream and not expect your neck to sag. Why? Because that’s how God wanted it. Is it fair? No! So, Suzie Q and I went to work learning about the secret to all successful diets – PORTION CONTROL. Seriously – when you live with a Mr. Grumpy who eats an entire box of Nerds after dinner and still maintains his 23-year-old body (he’s almost 27 by the way), don’t try to keep up. Don’t even try. You will need new pants… among other things. 

Enter spaghetti squash. Now, Mr. Grumpy was not very happy when I brought this baby home. He thought it was a pumpkin, and when I explained it was not a pumpkin and that we’d be eating that instead of a bowl full of pasta for dinner, his face got very pale and he exclaimed, “But I wish we were eating pasta instead!” Get over it Mr. Grumpy. My reputation is on the line here.

Spaghetti squash, in case you’ve never had it, is a … squash … but when you cook it and take out the middle part, it looks just like spaghetti noodles. It’s really quite phenomenal. And it helps you avoid all those carbs that make your butt grow two times its normal size. Truth be told, I had never cooked it before. So, I asked my coworkers Debbie and Melissa what to do. They had some great advice, and I felt fully equipped going home that evening – ready to try to trick Mr. Grumpy into liking this vegetable.

Spaghetti Squash with Cheesy Chicken Meatballs

What You’ll Need: 

• 1 large spaghetti squash
• 3 large cloves garlic
• 1/2 cup water
• 1/2 tsp salt, plus 1/4 tsp
• 1/4 tsp pepper, plus 1/8 tsp
• 1/2 cup Italian seasoned bread crumbs
• 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese (divided), plus some for garnish
• 1 egg
• 1 lb sweet Italian chicken sausage
• 1 tbsp ketchup
• 1 15 oz. can diced tomatoes
• 1/2 cup cherry tomatoes, whole
• 1/2 white onion
• 2 tbsp basil, chopped
• 1 tsp sugar
• 1 tbsp olive oil

First, preheat your oven to 350. While that heats, cut your spaghetti squash in half. Remove the seeds from the middle. Take one clove of garlic and mince it. Smoosh the garlic all over the two insides of the squash. Next, take a baking pan and cover it with aluminum foil. Pour 1/2 cup of water and place the squash face-down (so the open middle is facing the pan). Cook the squash for 60 minutes. Remove from the oven and gently grab the middle part out of the squash. It will shred like really tender chicken. That’s your pasta!

In the meantime, combine breadcrumbs, 1/4 cup parmesan cheese, egg, 1/2 tsp salt, 1/4 tsp pepper, chicken sausage, 1 clove of minced garlic, and ketchup in a mixing bowl. Using a melon baller, scoop out the mixture one-by-one to make small, 1-inch sized meatballs. Place each meatball on a non-stick baking pan. Bake the finished meatballs for 20-25 minutes at 350, until they are slightly crispy on the outside and firm to touch.

Next, in a small pan, heat 1 tbsp olive oil over medium heat. Place onions in the pan and cook for about 7 minutes, until the onions are translucent. Add the final clove of garlic, minced, into the pan and stir. Add the can of diced tomatoes with the juice and the cherry tomatoes, whole. Add sugar and the remainder of salt, plus a dash of pepper. Let that simmer for about 20 minutes, until the cherry tomatoes are easy to pop (go ahead, pop ’em!). Add the remaining Parmesan cheese and stir.

Now, take your spaghetti squash and separate it into two bowls – one for you and one for your Mr. Grumpy. I put about 3/4 cup my bowl (Mr. Grumpy got about 1 cup). Add 1/4 cup of tomato sauce to the top, and add 1 tbsp of basil per bowl. Next, give each bowl a few meatballs. Sprinkle with about 1 tsp of Parmesan cheese, and voila! Healthy pasta!! We did it!!

Now, Mr. Grumpy got done eating our dinner, ran into the kitchen and grabbed a biscuit from the fridge. He yelled at the top of his lungs, “I’M EATING THIS BISCUIT!!!” and then stuffed the entire thing in his mouth. You’d think he had just defeated the diet beast. It was really quite alarming, but alas – whatever makes him happy I suppose (apparently that’s not spaghetti squash).

Also, for the record, luaus do not make Mr. Grumpy happy either. We learned that lesson once…

I took Mr. Grumpy to Luau on the Lake, and forced him to wear this beautiful floral necklace. Then, I made him stand in front of this beautiful plant. He was extremely pleased.I took Mr. Grumpy to Luau on the Lake, and forced him to wear this beautiful floral necklace. Then, I made him stand in front of this beautiful plant. He was extremely pleased.

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