Weekend Dinner: Cobb Salad Chicken Tacos… and that time I tried (twice) to cut a mango

Ok, can we first start by talking about mangos. I mean.. how the HELL are you supposed to cut those things? Does anyone else have these struggles or is it just me?? I bought two mangos at the supermarket, and both ended in a mish mash of mango goo, about three slices of mango that could ACTUALLY be used, mango juice everywhere and three cuts on my skin. Needless to say, my mango addiction is really selfish. Because I now know I will never be able to do this on my own. And I refuse to Google "How do I cut a mango" because I'm POSITIVE some super simple trick exists, and I've now wasted too much time trying to figure it out. So, if you'd like to be hired as my lifetime mango cutter, please inquire via comment below. I can't really pay you, but I have a sweet second bedroom you could live in, and I promise to throw away all the boxes so you can get to your bed. You can't have a closet, though. I'm currently using all of them.

So, I needed a major ego boost after trying to cut these mangos. And let me tell you – Cooking Light's May issue? Um, the best issue they've ever created. It's basically dedicated to all the foods I love – ahi tuna? CHECK! TACOS? CHECK! Deep Fried Chick Peas? HOW DID YOU KNOW COOKING LIGHT? How did you know… 

We started on Saturday with one of their taco recipes, which I adapted slightly to be more realistic for those who spent a very quick morning helping Mr. Salty and Robin move into their new apartment. We have learned that no move-in is perfect, but it goes NEAR perfect when you have the organizational skills of Mr. Salty. Near perfect means that there is still a chance to accidentally drill through a waterpipe… :( 

Then, Mr. Grumpy and I went for a hike at one of the Cleveland Metroparks, which is the home to Squire's Castle. Basically this super rich oil dude bought this castle in the middle of Mentor-ish that he used as a weekend getaway. It was pretty amazing.

And then Mr. Grumpy took me to the mall so I could buy a new purse since I'm officially a walking commuter and needed (YES I SAID NEEDED) a commuter bag. Now, I'm going to go on a slight tangent here, but look at how amazingly adorable my bag is:

I got it on SALE at Dillard's for just $33 (originally $69). It was Ah-mah-zing. Especially because my other option was a $200 Michael Kors bag… Now, I was really confused because I found this bag at the very end when I happened to walk around the corner to BFE purseland in Dillards – way around the corner, where I'm sure very few people get to. And we found the entire line of Kate Landry bags, which were probably the cutest, most reasonable bags in the store. Those babies need to be upfront and center. Dillard's, take note. I would have bought two if Mr. G hadn't been with me.

So, needless to say, by 5 p.m., Mr. G and I were super famished (especially because we did ALL of this with a terrible cold that just kept getting worse by the minute), so I got to cooking. These tacos are the perfect mix between a summer salad and a taco. It's all the things you love put into one. I'm officially a huge fan.

Cobb Salad Chicken Tacos

Here's what you'll need:

• 1 rotisserie chicken with the skin on it (Mr. G was SUPER mortified when I brought home an entire rotisserie chicken, but when he found out that it meant he could take chicken legs for lunch, he was at ease again)
• 2 large eggs
• 4 slices of bacon 
• 1 shallot onion, cut into small pieces
• 2 garlic cloves, chopped into small pieces
• 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
• 1 1/2 tbsp olive oil
• 1/4 tsp Dijon mustard (I did a heaping one)
• Ranch dressing for drizzling (about 2 tbsps)
• 1/4 cup blue cheese crumbles 
• 6 flour tortillas
• Thinly sliced Boston lettuce
• 1/2 cup diced tomato (we cut up Roma tomatoes)
• 1/2 avocado, diced and peeled

First, you want to hard boil your eggs. If you've never done this before, it's really simple. Put your eggs in a pot, and fill it with water so that it covers the eggs about an inch above them. Then, put the pot on the stove and bring it just to a boil. Cover immediately, and turn off your stove. Let that sit for 13 minutes. Then, drain the water, and cool the eggs by placing them in ice water. They should be really easy to peel, but if they aren't – well, that's just life. That just means the eggs were super fresh when you boiled them. I crack the shell and then roll it gently to crack it all around. But everyone does this differently. You really can't mess it up. I mean, I've known people who have, but I'm sure they'd rather I not mention them by name here since it really is THAT easy (not like cutting a mango at all). 

While your eggs are cookin', you can shread up your chicken. You're going to pull the white meat from the center (i.e., the breast) and just shread it with your fingers. You want about two cups of shredded chicken when you're done. If you're like my sister Erin and hate touching meat, you can just use two cans of shredded white meat chicken, but it won't be as tasty.

Then, go ahead and cut up all the rest of the ingredients that need to be cut up. Then, in a small bowl, combine the olive oil, red wine vinegar and the Dijon mustard. 

Next, heat a pan over medium heat. Add the four slices of bacon, and cook until they are crisp. Remove the bacon, and DO NOT DRAIN YOUR PAN. Put the bacon on a plate covered with paper napkins. Let those sit so they can cool because you're going to want to crumble those up. Again, if you're a vegetarian or just don't like touching bacon you can get the veggie version of bacon bits in the freezer section – or the real bacon bits that you can find in the salad condiment aisle. Next, in the same pan using the drippings from the bacon, add the shallots and the garlic and cook for 1 minute. Then turn off your stove, and add in the red wine vinegar/mustard/olive oil mixture. Toss in your chicken to coat, and let that sit. Peel and cut up your hard boiled eggs, and crumble up your bacon.

Now comes the fun part. You're going to think I'm crazy, and I promise you this time I'm not joking. You're going to heat a small burner on your stove to medium. Place one tortilla DIRECTLY on the stove top, and count to 10 (a quick 10). Flip it over and count to 10 again. Do this for all your tortillas. 

Next, you're ready to compile your tacos. Take your charred tortilla, add chicken, lettuce, tomato, crumbled-up bacon, blue cheese, ranch, avocado and your eggs. Drizzle some Ranch dressing over the top, and voila! Enjoy! These are so tasty, you won't even believe it. As Suzie Q says, they're so good your tongue will slap your brains out… or at least I think that's what she says… 

Mr. G and I moved… and didn’t kill each other (yet)

Well… that was fun. The rumors flying around the CLE are true – Mr. G and I relocated from quiet little Lakewood to the bustle of the city – DOWNTOWN. And let's just say it took us three days, two sets of parents, a surprisingly cheery Mr. Salty, a Robin, four cars (two trucks, my SUV and a moving van), and a LOT of beer. And what did I learn from our big move? A very valuable lesson – hire movers. Do it. Don't follow in my footsteps – movers are the way to go (no offense, Moving Squad. You guys were awesome. My nerves are still shot though…). 

But let's start earlier in the week – on Wednesday, when I went to make a crock pot dinner for Mr. G  to find that my crock pot was missing. And where was it? Well, Mr. G had PACKED it at the BOTTOM of our kitchen box. So, we ate pizza all week and stayed up until 1 a.m. on Friday packing the rest of Mr. G's junk treasures. Now, I am required by Mr. Grumpy Law to disclose that I had four tupperwares full of my shoes. Mr. G suggested I bring only one, and get rid of the rest. I reminded him that I could still claim his closet in our new apartment as my shoe closet, and that he was LUCKY that I was letting him have a closet to his self… but he was still pretty grumpy about the amount of shoes that had to make the GIANT 4-mile move downtown. I also discovered that Mr. G has not only a Playstation, but also has an Xbox AND a Super Nintendo… so I think we're pretty even on things we don't need… 

Despite the fact that it took us 4.5 hours to load our moving truck (plus two more days of moving sh*t over to our new apartment), we survived. And we already love it here. Suzie Q and DS helped us with some home decor renovations – including painting our old kitchen table, and refinishing the top to look brand-spanking new (isn't it beautiful???).

We also power decorated (I was being slightly spazzy about getting everything put together. Basically after making Mr. G hang artwork for three hours after work on Tuesday, we got in a slight grumptastic argument about how I didn't need to make everyone suffer when I was having a … moment… I may have also thrown a fit about the location of a piece of tupperware… This is life, people.). 

These are pictures hanging from antique door knobs! 

This is where the magic happens (note all the beer we had to drink to stay sane while moving). And yes, those are chalkboard jars! I'm obsessed – we got 4 from Target, and one cookie chalkboard jar from Anthropologie to finish the set.

I got my cake stand from TJ Maxx, and made the picture using an old birthday card Ashley got me a few years ago. 

Mr. G would argue that THIS is actually where the magic happens… disgusting.

This is where the snuggling happens.

Welcome home, Mr. G! (That's the Bike Art I made – plus we reno'd the dresser by buying new knobs from Anthropologie, and we dusted it for the first time in like… 12 months). 

One of the reasons we had to get everything decorated so fast was because we were having an unofficial Welcome to Downtown get together with our friends – Kels, B-Rad, Samantha and D-Train (he's really proud of his nickname). We were so pleased that we could literally WALK to Bar Louie, drink $1 beers all night, and then stumble walk home. It was a pretty amazing time – had by all attendees (despite the fact that we were supposed to go to the Indians' game, but never moved from Bar L). 

So, since it only took me a few days to completely unpack everything, I went ahead and stocked up on food – and got to cooking right away. I couldn't wait to use my new kitchen that had more than 2 feet of counterspace. Plus, I got to talk THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS COOKING because our kitchen opens up to the living room. Mr. G was really pleased. 

So, for the first time in our lovely, swanky downtown apartment – let's get cooking, people!

It's Springtime, Baby Pasta!

I made my grocery list today whilst sitting in the parking lot of my eye doctor, and managed to only forget one item ($325 later…). Don't worry – Mr. G got an entire bushel of bananas (bushel? bunch? What is a group of bananas called???). 

(I had a moment at Anthropologie, obviously. I got new bowls – this is one of them. I love this. I'd love it even more if it were full of ice cream – the one thing I forgot at the grocery store). 

I adapted this recipe from the lastest issue of Cooking Light – mostly because it said to use fava beans, and I have NO idea what those are. They sounded really involved – and needed to be deshelled… And I wasn't really feeling that. So I used lima beans. YES. LIMA BEANS. And they were delicious, so bear with me here, people. 

What You'll Need: 

• 1 8.5 oz. can lima beans
• 1 1/4 cup uncooked campanelle pasta (that's the kind that is squirly-queued on the edges). 
• 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
• 6 center-cut bacon slices, cut into 1/2 inch pieces
• 6 cloves of garlic, chopped roughly
• 1/2 red onion, chopped
• 1/3 cup white mushrooms (broken into chunky pieces)
• 1 cup frozen peas
• 1 lemon, juiced and zested
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 6 tbsp grated parmesean cheese 
• 1/2 cup basil leaves, torn into pieces 

First, boil your water for the pasta. Boil your pasta for about 11 minutes, depending on how you like your pasta. Basically, it needs to be cooked. While you're waiting for the water to boil, you can cut up all the ingredients. And if you have a mile of counterspace like I do now, you can take up the entire kitchen and use 3 plates, 2 cutting boards and 3 knives. Just because you can, goshdarnit. 

Anyway, while your pasta is cookin', heat 1 tbsp of olive oil in a pan over medium-high heat. Once that's hot, cook your bacon in it until it starts to crisp up slightly and get brownish. This will take about 3 minutes. Then, turn your heat down to medium. Add the onions and garlic, and cook until the onions are transluscent. This will take about 4 minutes. Add the mushrooms and cook for 3 more minutes. Add the lima beans (DRAIN THEM BEFORE YOU ADD THEM. Sorry, I don't know why I started screaming at you. You didn't know…). And add the peas. Cook for 1 minute. Add the remaining 1 tbsp of olive oil, lemon juice and zest, salt and cooked pasta, and stir and cook for an additional 2 minutes. Remove the pan from heat, and add 3 tbsp of cheese. Stir. Put it into a bowl, and garnish with 1 tbsp per bowl of cheese and 2 tbsp basil per bowl. 

I was surprised at how much flavor this dish had. I knew of a similar recipe that a roommate from college used to make, and it didn't have this much flavor. This is really great. And took about 20 minutes total to make. Ah-mah-zing. Thank you, Cooking Light. (And did I mention that each bowl only packs 371 calories? YEAHHHHH!). 

DIY Bike Art and Why Your Crock Pot Should Be the Last Thing You Pack

First let me preface this ENTIRE post by letting you in on the next big thing coming up in Mr. G's and my life – we're MOVING. That's right – a whole 4 miles east to Downtown CLE, where we will get fat on Map Room Pizza and Noodlecat happy hours, and be very, very merry. I hate moving. And as such, Mr. Grumpy gets to deal with a Miss Grumptastic all week. 

Also, Mr. Grumpy has a very hard time staying focused on packing. For example, I asked Mr. Grumpy to pack up his desk, and while he worked on that for three hours (and at the end, nothing in his desk had been packed), I had packed six boxes and completely cleared off our bookcases. So, wish us godspeed as the weekend continues to creep up, because it's going to be a bumpy, 4-mile ride. 

DS and Suzie Q came this weekend to assist with some packing (and it was Suzie Q's bday!). DS got really excited when Mr. Grumpy and I gave him a car-load of items to sell at his garage sale. So excited, in fact, that we broke this mirror:

So, I took it upon myself to make a DIY project out of it. Mr. Grumpy was NOT enthused when I started painting on our carpet (on top of a cardboard box, people! I'm not a crazy person. Gosh). We have been searching everywhere for some bike art for our new apartment in the Big City, and have been finding nothing even within the budget we wanted to spend (uhh, would you take $25 for that $300 painting?). So, over the weekend, Suzie Q and I went to Papertrails in Rocky River, and got some amazing bike wrapping paper to use for art. So, I think it was a sign (minus the fact that now we're going to have seven years bad luck because we broke a mirror) that we make this bike art. AND I say, if we're going to have super bad luck, we might as well have hellacute walls while our life falls to pieces. 

I digress… So, if you want to make your own bike wall art here is what you need:

• Sample size of Behr matte paint (we bought Antique White). You can really use any brand you like… We just used Behr.
• A paint brush (the foam one didn't really work that great, so we used the one with "hair" – I don't really know how else to explain that so I'll move on)
• A cardboard box
• Pretty paper 
• An old, broken mirror

First, remove the backing from your mirror. If yours is like ours was, it was stapled. So I pryed the backing using a screw driver, keeping the staples in tact. Next, place the frame onto a piece of cardboard. Then, paint the frame – I wanted it to look slightly old and worn, so we only did one coat. Let that dry.

Next, cut out the piece of cardboard you painted on, using the paint stains as a guide. This will act as your mat. Then, cut out your paper to match the size of the mat. Tape it onto the cardboard, and flip it over onto your dry frame. Hammer the staples on the backing back onto the frame, and VOILA! You have bike art that cost you $2.95 instead of $300. 

Mr. Grumpy was not super enthused about it because the bikes have baskets that have flowers in them. Apparently he wanted something more rugged and manly. But, c'mon Mr. Grumpy. You live with a girl. What did you expect? Save your rugged manly art for your Man Room (aka, the Man Bathroom, that I do not enter under any circumstances). Yes, Mr. Grumpy and I have separate bathrooms. Don't judge me – there are just some things that need never be shared in a relationship. Like bathrooms… and bike shorts. 

Now, in between all my mad crafting, we managed to pack MOST of the apartment. Mostly due to Suzie Q's undying energy. That woman sure is a speedy bullet when it comes to packing. But, let me give you some advice about packing. Never, never pack your crock pot until the very last moment. In fact, I'd argue that's one of those things you should throw in your car with you. Why? Well, let's be honest. The week before a big move, do you think you're going to feel like cooking dinner? Um, hell no. You're not. And instead of ordering pizza every night of the week (tempting, right?) and gaining 10 pounds before moving, use that crock pot. Use it, friends. You will not regret it. 

That's why I'm sharing with you my new favorite crock pot recipe, in honor of the kick-off of our last week at our apartment from you-know-where… 

Crock Pot White Chicken Chili with a KICK! 

Recipe adapted MAJORLY from Land 'O Lakes: http://www.landolakes.com/recipe/3740/white-chicken-chili. 

Mr. Grumpy was SERIOUSLY grumpy about this dinner because I made him go to the grocery store to buy the ingredients. The grocery is a very scary place for Mr. G, especially with the way I write our grocery list. He gets extremely frustrated when I put down "onion" and don't specify what color. Or when I write down "block of white cheese" when there are 100 flavors of white cheese to choose from. So, three hours, 20 texts and 5 calls later, Mr. G came home with all my groceries and grumped onto the couch where he pouted… It was not our best moment. I promised to do a better job at indicating what KINDS of food I need or to never, ever send him to the grocery story alone, ever again (I'm going for the latter). 

What You'll Need:

• 1 8 oz. package of 1/3 less fat cream cheese
• 1 lb boneless, skinless chicken breast, diced into 1" pieces
• 1 block of white cheddar cheese, cut into small 1" blocks
• 1/2 block of pepper jack cheese, cut into small 1" blocks
• 1 can of diced tomatoes (I used the Fire Roasted Garlic flavor – yum); drain these very slightly
• 3/4 cup chicken stock
• 1 can of Mexi Corn, drained
• 1 red pepper, cut into chunky pieces
• 1 sweet onion, diced
• 3 garlic cloves, chopped really finely
• 2 cans Great Northen Beans (don't drain, or do so slightly. You want a bit of juice in there)
• 1/4 tsp red pepper flakes
• 1 package of Ranch dressing mix
• 2 tbsp cumin
• 2 tsp chili powder
• 1 tsp onion powder
• salt and pepper to taste
• Cilantro, for sprinkling on top when it's cooked. "Decorative Cilantro" if you will… 

Combine everything in your crock pot. Cook on high for 3.5 hours (or on low for 6-7 hours), stirring occasionally. And… serve. Seriously. It's that easy, people. Phew. Now, on to packing our linen closet!