DIY Bike Art and Why Your Crock Pot Should Be the Last Thing You Pack

First let me preface this ENTIRE post by letting you in on the next big thing coming up in Mr. G's and my life – we're MOVING. That's right – a whole 4 miles east to Downtown CLE, where we will get fat on Map Room Pizza and Noodlecat happy hours, and be very, very merry. I hate moving. And as such, Mr. Grumpy gets to deal with a Miss Grumptastic all week. 

Also, Mr. Grumpy has a very hard time staying focused on packing. For example, I asked Mr. Grumpy to pack up his desk, and while he worked on that for three hours (and at the end, nothing in his desk had been packed), I had packed six boxes and completely cleared off our bookcases. So, wish us godspeed as the weekend continues to creep up, because it's going to be a bumpy, 4-mile ride. 

DS and Suzie Q came this weekend to assist with some packing (and it was Suzie Q's bday!). DS got really excited when Mr. Grumpy and I gave him a car-load of items to sell at his garage sale. So excited, in fact, that we broke this mirror:

So, I took it upon myself to make a DIY project out of it. Mr. Grumpy was NOT enthused when I started painting on our carpet (on top of a cardboard box, people! I'm not a crazy person. Gosh). We have been searching everywhere for some bike art for our new apartment in the Big City, and have been finding nothing even within the budget we wanted to spend (uhh, would you take $25 for that $300 painting?). So, over the weekend, Suzie Q and I went to Papertrails in Rocky River, and got some amazing bike wrapping paper to use for art. So, I think it was a sign (minus the fact that now we're going to have seven years bad luck because we broke a mirror) that we make this bike art. AND I say, if we're going to have super bad luck, we might as well have hellacute walls while our life falls to pieces. 

I digress… So, if you want to make your own bike wall art here is what you need:

• Sample size of Behr matte paint (we bought Antique White). You can really use any brand you like… We just used Behr.
• A paint brush (the foam one didn't really work that great, so we used the one with "hair" – I don't really know how else to explain that so I'll move on)
• A cardboard box
• Pretty paper 
• An old, broken mirror

First, remove the backing from your mirror. If yours is like ours was, it was stapled. So I pryed the backing using a screw driver, keeping the staples in tact. Next, place the frame onto a piece of cardboard. Then, paint the frame – I wanted it to look slightly old and worn, so we only did one coat. Let that dry.

Next, cut out the piece of cardboard you painted on, using the paint stains as a guide. This will act as your mat. Then, cut out your paper to match the size of the mat. Tape it onto the cardboard, and flip it over onto your dry frame. Hammer the staples on the backing back onto the frame, and VOILA! You have bike art that cost you $2.95 instead of $300. 

Mr. Grumpy was not super enthused about it because the bikes have baskets that have flowers in them. Apparently he wanted something more rugged and manly. But, c'mon Mr. Grumpy. You live with a girl. What did you expect? Save your rugged manly art for your Man Room (aka, the Man Bathroom, that I do not enter under any circumstances). Yes, Mr. Grumpy and I have separate bathrooms. Don't judge me – there are just some things that need never be shared in a relationship. Like bathrooms… and bike shorts. 

Now, in between all my mad crafting, we managed to pack MOST of the apartment. Mostly due to Suzie Q's undying energy. That woman sure is a speedy bullet when it comes to packing. But, let me give you some advice about packing. Never, never pack your crock pot until the very last moment. In fact, I'd argue that's one of those things you should throw in your car with you. Why? Well, let's be honest. The week before a big move, do you think you're going to feel like cooking dinner? Um, hell no. You're not. And instead of ordering pizza every night of the week (tempting, right?) and gaining 10 pounds before moving, use that crock pot. Use it, friends. You will not regret it. 

That's why I'm sharing with you my new favorite crock pot recipe, in honor of the kick-off of our last week at our apartment from you-know-where… 

Crock Pot White Chicken Chili with a KICK! 

Recipe adapted MAJORLY from Land 'O Lakes: http://www.landolakes.com/recipe/3740/white-chicken-chili. 

Mr. Grumpy was SERIOUSLY grumpy about this dinner because I made him go to the grocery store to buy the ingredients. The grocery is a very scary place for Mr. G, especially with the way I write our grocery list. He gets extremely frustrated when I put down "onion" and don't specify what color. Or when I write down "block of white cheese" when there are 100 flavors of white cheese to choose from. So, three hours, 20 texts and 5 calls later, Mr. G came home with all my groceries and grumped onto the couch where he pouted… It was not our best moment. I promised to do a better job at indicating what KINDS of food I need or to never, ever send him to the grocery story alone, ever again (I'm going for the latter). 

What You'll Need:

• 1 8 oz. package of 1/3 less fat cream cheese
• 1 lb boneless, skinless chicken breast, diced into 1" pieces
• 1 block of white cheddar cheese, cut into small 1" blocks
• 1/2 block of pepper jack cheese, cut into small 1" blocks
• 1 can of diced tomatoes (I used the Fire Roasted Garlic flavor – yum); drain these very slightly
• 3/4 cup chicken stock
• 1 can of Mexi Corn, drained
• 1 red pepper, cut into chunky pieces
• 1 sweet onion, diced
• 3 garlic cloves, chopped really finely
• 2 cans Great Northen Beans (don't drain, or do so slightly. You want a bit of juice in there)
• 1/4 tsp red pepper flakes
• 1 package of Ranch dressing mix
• 2 tbsp cumin
• 2 tsp chili powder
• 1 tsp onion powder
• salt and pepper to taste
• Cilantro, for sprinkling on top when it's cooked. "Decorative Cilantro" if you will… 

Combine everything in your crock pot. Cook on high for 3.5 hours (or on low for 6-7 hours), stirring occasionally. And… serve. Seriously. It's that easy, people. Phew. Now, on to packing our linen closet! 

 

Weeknight Dinners: A double feature! Crock Pot Extravaganza!

We all know how I feel about crock pots (i.e., LOVE them). And, since I have become a Zumba with Bill regular, I knew that my crock pot would be seeing a lot more of me than he used to. It was a very hectic week – more hectic than usual. In fact, I had Zumba Tuesday, a Cavs game Wednesday (in which 45 minutes of fouls were played and I remembered why I quit cheerleading high school basketball), and what was supposed to be Zumba on Thursday until I had to spend 3 hours at the doctor getting souped up cough meds for my awkward springtime cough that's developed, and therefore was 3 hours late to work and had to work late. Whoa. 

So, once again the crock pot came to the rescue and made us two DELISH meals for hardly any work at all. I made both of these on Tuesday night, cooked the first on Tuesday evening (heated it up on Wednesday before the game for a quick meal), and cooked the second while at work on Thursday with my timed crock pot. Seriously, you need two crock pots to survive my kind of week.

So let's start with the first (adapted from The Girl Who Ate Everything's recipe)

Creamy Chicken Ceasar Shredded Chicken Sammies (yum)

What You'll Need:

• 1 lb boneless chicken breasts, trimmed of fat
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• 1 tsp pepper
• 1 tbsp poultry seasoning
• 1 bottle of Marzetti Simply Dressed Ceasar Dressing
• 2 tbsp dried parsley
• 1 1/2 cups parmesean cheese
• Pretzel rolls 
• Lettuce (sliced for the sandwiches)

First, place the chicken in your crockpot with 1/2 cup water. Sprinkle in garlic powder, pepper and poultry seasoning. Cook on low for 3 hours. Remove from your crock pot, and drain your crock pot. Shred the chicken, and place it back in the crock pot. Add the bottle of dressing, parmesean cheese and parsley. Cook on high for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally. Once you're all ready to eat, scoop onto a pretzel roll and top with lettuce. These are so tasty – Mr. G and I each ate TWO in one sitting (yes, I'm proud of that). Then we went to the Cavs game with our bro's D-Train and B-Rad, and watched the Cavs and Pistons get fouled for 45 minutes and shoot 85 free throws. I was not pleased… 

For the next night, we made this recipe that I found on SkinnyTaste.com, and adapted a bit, too. 

Take Out, Fake Out Sesame Honey Chicken and Rice

What You'll Need:

• 2 lbs boneless chicken breasts
• 1 tsp black pepper
• 1/3 cup low-sodium soy sauce
• 1/4 cup honey
• 1/4 cup tomato paste
• 1 1/2 tsp sesame oil
• 3 tbsp apple cider vinegar
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 tbsp water, plus 1/4 cup water
• 1 tsp onion powder
• 3 tsp sriracha sauce
• 2 tbsp cornstarch
• 1 tbsp sesame seeds
• 3 green onions, chopped 

First, put your chicken in the crock pot, and add in pepper and onion powder. In a small mixing bowl, combine soy sauce, honey, tomato paste, apple cider vinegar, garlic, 1 tbsp water, sesame oil and sriracha sauce. Pour over chicken, and refrigerate over night. In the morning, set your crock pot on LOW, and cook for 3 hours.  

If you have a timer like me, I had mine turn off at the 3 hour mark, and then it stays warm for 2 more hours. When you get home, remove the chicken from the crock pot (it should be cool to the touch), and keep the sauce in the crock pot. Shred the chicken (I do this with my hands – my clean hands thankyouverymuch). Meanwhile, dissolve your cornstarch in 1/4 cup water, add into the crock pot and stir. Cover and cook on high until the sauce is thick – about 30 minutes. Then, return your chicken to the crock pot and mix it all together.

We served ours over rice, with green onions, sesame seeds and more sriracha sauce for garnish. It was so spicy and tasty, and again reminded me why I will never buy Chinese take out again (this is probably untrue. I will probably order take out once our Chinese take out restaurant opens from "renovations"… which I find to be completely shady). I didn't end up making it to Zumba this night, but did get to work out on my bike, so all was well. 

Weeknight Dinner: The Quick Fix Taco Cupcake

I know what you're thinking. Taco cupcakes, Cari? That sounds disgusting! Mr. G didn't really get it either. Except that when I was done making them, and he'd eaten 3 cupcakes, I could tell (even through his grumpy facade) that I had won this round. And, since I made them, he's asked me to make them 3 more times, and it's only been a week. 

So, if you're ever in a crunch and can't think of anything to make for dinner, this is your quick fix. Usually I have all these items already in my fridge, so when I was in a time crunch last week, I knew exactly what to make. I saw these on Pinterest (omg, Cari – do you do anything but PIN things? No, not really…) and even though I couldn't find a recipe anywhere that I was excited about, I improvised and made this up. 

What You'll Need:

• 2 cans of Pillsbury crecent roll dough (the kind w/o seams)
• 1 lb ground turkey (or you can do ground beef)
• 1 taco seasoning packet
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 1 can of Rotel tomatoes 
• 1 can of Mexi-corn
• 1/4 cup cilantro
• 1/2 cup shredded cheese
• 1 can of black beans
• 1 can of green chiles 
• 1/4 cup enchilada sauce
• Whatever else you like putting on your tacos (to each his own)… 

First, preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Now, we're going to make the cups first that will hold your tacos. So, take out your cupcake tin, and flip it upside down so the bumpy part is bumping OUT. Then, take your dough out of the can, and separate it into equal pieces. Shape those pieces over each cupcake bump, until you have covered each one. You want to make sure that the sides are even, and that they are all sealed all the way around. 

Then, bake in the oven for 10 minutes, until slightly golden. You want them a bit undone, because you're going to put them back in the oven at the end. Trust me on this one…

In the meantime, brown your ground turkey until it's cooked all the way through. Drain, and add in the taco seasoning, as it says to on the packet. Add onions and green chiles. You could also add jalapenos, but we didn't think about that… Chop up your cilantro, and set it aside.

Remove your cupcake tin from the oven and carefully, and slowly, remove the crescent bowls from each bump. Now, you've got BOWLS for your taco meat. BRILLIANT CARI.. I know. You can thank me later (or thank Pinterest). 

Fill your bowls that way you would your taco – meat, enchilada sauce, black beans, scoop of Rotel tomatoes, corn and cheese. Once all the bowls are filled, place it back in the oven and bake for 5-6 more minutes, until your cheese is melted. Sprinkle with cilantro and dip in plain greek yogurt, and enjoy!  

Weeknight Dinner: Oozy Spicy Broccoli Quinoa Mac ‘N Cheese

Mr. G and I have a slight addiction to macaroni and cheese. In fact, it is probably the sole reason why this is my life:

Anyway… 

So, I sought to find a healthy mac 'n cheese recipe, and stumbled upon this on Pinterest (yes, I have an addiction to that too). A recipe I adapted from Tablespoon.com's spicy broccoli casserole - and it was tasty!

What You'll Need:

• 2 1/2 cups milk
• 1/2 cup buttermilk (i.e., 2 tbsp buttermilk powder + 1/2 cup water)
• 3 cups cheddar and colby jack cheese, shredded
• 1 cup quinoa, rinsed (not cooked)
• 1 cup chopped pickled jalapeno peppers
• 2 heads of broccoli, cut into chunks
• 1 tsp pepper
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 onion, chopped
• 3 cloves garlic, chopped
• 3 tbsp olive oil

First, preheat your oven to 350. Then, grease a baking dish – I used my biggest one because this makes a LOT of food, but is great for leftovers. Just beware of opening your tupperware in the lunch room because broccoli is super stinky when released from tupperware, and I don't want you losing friends over me.

Then, chop your onion, garlic and jalapeno, and rinse the quinoa. Shred your cheese if you buy it in blocks like we do (Mr. G has an addiction to cheese in general, which is very confusing considering he is slightly lactose intolerant…). Then, heat a wok pan (if you have one) over medium heat with olive oil. Cook the onion, salt and pepper in the oil for about 4 minutes, until the onion is soft and translucent. Then, add the quinoa to toast it, and cook stirring often for 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook 30 seconds, until you can smell its aroma. Add milk, buttermilk, 2 cups of cheese, broccoli and jalapeno. Cook, stirring the entire time, for one more minute. Remove from heat and keep stirring until everything is evenly mixed. 

Pour the cheesy goodness into your casserole dish, and sprinkle the remaining cheese on top. Ok, listen – I know at this point you're like, "Cari! I thought you said this would be a HEALTHY mac 'n cheese recipe, and you're suggesting I use 3 cups of cheese?!?!?! GYST!!!!" To which I reply, no one is perfect. Buy low-fat cheese and work out for 30 minutes.

Bake for 45-50 minutes, until the cheese on top is brownish, and the liquid is absorbed (when you serve this, there will still be a little bit of liquid on the bottom but it won't go onto your bowl). Remove from the oven, and let it sit for 6 minutes. Serve, and enjoy!  

Crafting with Cari & Robin (and that time I said my banana bread was better than Martha Stewart’s…)

Today, my friend Robin and I had the very first (and first of many!) installment of Crafting with Cari – we were working on the centerpieces for her wedding! We saw these glittery wine bottles on Pinterest, and she had the amazing idea to glitterize Mason jars. Seriously, this is the easiest craft project you'll ever do, and the best craft project you'll ever do as well. It. Was. Awesome. 

Now, let me preface this by telling you that I am TERRIBLE at crafts. In fact, I got a B- in Middle School Art class. And I do NOT get B's, so that was a big deal. I got docked major points for not cleaning up my art station, and also the fact that I rushed through all my art projects so that the vases I was pottery-ing always fell apart. My art teacher often had to supervise me… it's very hard to do artsy things whilst talking and flirting with all the boys… 

But, Robin put her faith in me, and put my crafting to the test, and we DID IT! And again, I say, these are awesome:

All you need is:

• A jar of Modge Podge 
• A jar of glitter (we used white)
• A mason jar
• A paint brush
• Acrylic sealant (it's by the spray paint)
• Masking tape

First, make sure your Mason jar is clean and completely dry. Then, tape the part where the lid usually goes. Pour out the glitter and spread evenly upon some parchment paper. Paint the outside of the Mason jar with Modge Podge (make sure it's really even, because whereever there is a glob of Modge Podge, there will be a glob of glitter. We learned this lesson, but they still look really good when they're done).

Roll the Mason jar through the glitter, so that the jar is completely covered. Let it dry for about 30 minutes, and then spray it with the sealant, and Voila! Your new best home decor piece ever – and yes, everyone WILL be jealous and likely go home and make it themselves, so be prepared for lots of people to copy you.

Now, when I went home, I wanted to do something nice for Mr. Grumpy because he had a really rough day missing me for hours while I was with Robin. A few days ago, I stole Mr. Grumpy's beloved bananas and hid them in the freezer so that I could make banana bread. Everyone knows that when your bananas get just about TOO ripe, you put them in the freezer to save them for when you're ready for bread makin'. (My biggest sister Annie taught me that one!) 

Well, Mr. Grumpy is kind of… attached to his bananas (too much?? OK get your head out of the gutter). And, when he found out that  I had taken his bananas to the freezer and that they were lost to him forever, he was pretty upset. What was he to eat at lunch with his leftovers? (Try another fruit, Mr. G) Why would I do that to his bananas? (Because something even MORE awesome was coming) In fact, one day, he even came home from work with a banana and hid it from me so I wouldn't steal it. I still haven't found it, but I imagine that it'll start smelling soon.

So, after a day of crafting, there was nothing I wanted to do more than make this amazing banana bread I found in Martha Stewart's Baking Handbook (I adapted her recipe for Banana Walnut Bread, and made an EVEN BETTER – yes, I know I just compared myself to Martha and said mine was better – Cari's Cinnamon Twisty Banana Walnut Bread. 

Cari's Cinnamon Twisty Banana Walnut Bread

What You'll Need:

• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 3/4 tsp salt
• 3 eggs
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 1/2 cup cinnamon sugar (I made mine from scratch – just add 2 parts sugar to 1 part cinnamon. I always keep a Mason jar of this handy. Goes great with toast… and in banana bread)
• 1 1/3 cups canola oil 
• 2 tbsp vanilla extract
• 1 cup sweetened coconut shreds (like the ones I used for the coconut shrimp!)
• 4 ripe bananas, removed from their skins and mushed up (Sorry, Mr. G, but isn't the bread YUMMY? Wasn't it WORTH IT?)
• 1 cup walnuts (broken up by hand into small pieces)
• 2 tbsp buttermilk powder (or 1/2 cup buttermilk) … (I bought the powder kind that you get in the baking aisle. My friend Melissa introduced me and I'm obsessed!) 
• 1/2 cup water (ONLY IF YOU USE THE POWDER BUTTERMILK)

Let's get cooking! First, preheat your oven to 350. Then, in a small bowl, combine flour, salt, buttermilk powder and baking soda. Set aside.

Next beat the egg, sugar, cinnamon sugar, oil and water – only use the water if you are using the powder buttermilk. Add in flour and combine with your mixer. Then, add in the vanilla extract, coconut, walnuts and bananas. Mix until combined nicely.

Spray 2 loaf pans with non-stick cooking spray (or use butter). Pour the batter into each loaf so each has the same amount. There should be about 1-2 inches of space left at the top of the pan, if you're using a 9X5" pan. Bake in the oven on the middle rack about 65-70 minutes. You'll know that it's done when it is a dark brown color, and you put a toothpick in it, and no batter comes out. I ended up baking mine for 67 minutes.

You can freeze one loaf for up to 3 months, or take it into work and impress all your coworkers. Or win over the man of your dreams by letting him eat a half loaf during dinner (ahem, Mr. G.). Yes, a half loaf is already gone… I'm not joking. This is why mine is better than M. Stewart's.

 

When Mr. Grumpy’s Away…. Cari gets coconut shrimp

So, Mr. Grumpy went to the Indians game this evening with his VERY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD… otherwise known as his BFF… Mr. Salty. For your reference, here is a picture of the both of them, and their combined salty and grumpiness:

What does this mean that Mr. Grumpy is out on the town? It means I get to eat the things that Mr. Grumpy hates (i.e., shrimp) AND watch The Mindy Project without one of Mr. G's notorious grump faces. Yeah for girl's nights…

Now, I knew I wanted to make coconut shrimp because I had found this amazing recipe  on Pinterest this weekend (from Tablespoon.com). However, I only recently found out that I like shrimp, and therefore had never made it before. At lunch today, I asked my coworkers for advice on how to cook them, and got some great advice (including how to devein a shrimpy, how they should be C's when they're done cooking, and how when they're cooked they should be a light pink color.) This advice would have been very handy had I not accidentally purchased already cooked shrimp at the grocery store after Zumba with Bill.

Here is my excuse. If you had been to Zumba with Bill, you would already know that he went for an extra 7 ish minutes today in class. So obviously, when I got out of class, I had what my friend Sara calls "Zumba Brain." Zumba Brain means that you lose the ability to function as a human being in the real world, and completely forget all advice your coworkers gave you at lunch… And have to have a police officer help you locate the grocery basket even though when he pointed to the ground, it was literally underneath your feet. Zumba Brain, people. This is a real thing, and it's extremely dangerous.

When I returned home, I was STILL sweating from Zumba, and had a half-pound of cooked, deveined, peeled shrimpies… and no dignity basically. But listen. The Steiner genes in me made me A) unbelievably stubborn, and B) adaptable to anything. So like any true Chopped Star-To-Be (aka, me), I improvised. (I feel like I say this a lot. A lot of cooking is improvising, people). 

So, if you'd like to make it like the Tablespoon recipe – have at it. If you have Zumba brain, and you're tired, and you want some equally delish coconut shrimp in 10 minutes… try my recipe. 

What You'll Need:

• To never ask the man at the seafood counter at Giant Eagle anything about seafood. He did not indicate when I asked him about the shrimp that they were already cooked. Now that my Zumba Brain is fading, I vaguely remember a sign that may have indicated that the shrimp were cooked… and potentially supposed to be used for cocktails. I digress.
• 1/2 pound of deveined, peeled cocktail shrimp (or 1/2 pound of shrimp, uncooked and undeveined, but since Mr. Grumpy wasn't here I was also really nervous about the deveining especially with what happened with the chicken wings.)
• 2 cups sweetened coconut flakes (find these in your baking aisle)
• 2 egg whites, beaten until soft peaks form (about 1 minute)
• 2 tbsp corn starch
• 1/4 cup pineapple pie filling (the fruity kind, not the custard kind)
• 1/4 jalapeno, chopped into itty bitty pieces
• 1 lime, juiced

First, preheat your oven to 400. Put your oven rack toward the top part of the middle, but not too close to the top or your coconut will burn.

Then, beat your egg whites until soft peaks form. I thought this was weird at first, but it makes the shrimp light and sweet, so just do it. Take out two small plates. On one, put 1 tbsp of corn starch. On the other, put 1 cup of coconut. 

Take your shrimpies and follow the same steps until you run out of starch and coconut (eventually you'll use all 2 tbsp of corn starch and all 2 cups of coconut, but just keep adding more to your plate until your shrimp are covered):

• Dip in the corn starch, and cover the shrimp by holding it by the tail fin.
• Dip in the egg white mixture.
• Dip in the coconut, and press it into the shrimp.
• Place shrimp onto a parchment-papered baking sheet. 

Now, once all your shrimp are covered and on your parchment paper on the baking sheet, cook them in the oven for 5 minutes on each side, until they are lightly brown. While they're cooking, combine the pineapple filling, lime juice and jalapeno in a small bowl. This is your sweet yummy dipping sauce.

Then, ENJOY (and brace yourself for getting judged in the lunchroom tomorrow for letting Zumba Brain to take control and have you buy already cooked shrimp. If you want to make this with uncooked shrimp, bake it in the oven 15 total minutes – about 7.5 on each side. According to my colleagues, you never, never ever ever want to overcook shrimp. I actually think my way worked because it was slightly pink and not tough.). 

Weeknight Dinner: Crock Pot Stuffed Peppers

Let me preface this by saying that sometimes I cook things that Mr. Grumpy does not understand. For example, he does not understand that when you cook peppers they become soft, because they are no longer raw… Therefore, Mr. Grumpy did not feel super pumped about tonight's dinner. However, I was, and I must tell you how delicious this recipe is. If you're in the mood for a meal that is both healthy AND tasty – (oh, and done as soon as you get home from work) – you're in for a real treat.

I love crock pot recipes – they are so convenient. Especially when two times a week you don't get home until 7:45 because you're busy getting your butt kicked by Bill at Zumba. Coming home to a crock pot dinner is ah-mah-zing, and a relief because if you're coming home from Zumba, you're muscles are spasming and you no longer can feel your legs which makes cooking dinner seriously difficult and uncomfortable.

Usually on Monday night, and then again on Wednesday night, I'll prepare my crock pot and put it in the fridge. Then when I leave for work in the morning, I'll plug it in and put the timer on. Now, if you don't have a timer on your crock pot, do not fret. Sometimes I use my tiny crock pot which has no timer. So, I'll cook it while I'm sleeping and set my sleep alarm for when I'm supposed to turn off the pot and put it back in the fridge befoore I leave for work. Then when I get home that night, I'll just put it on low, go to Zumba, and when I come back it's all ready to eat! 

Also, don't let Mr. Grumpy scare you… stuffed peppers are amazing – they're like having meatballs in a jacket of flavorful veggies. And even though they sound really hard to make, they're probably just as easy to make as Kraft mac 'n' cheese… especially when you're doing it crock-pot style. So… let's get started!

What You'll Need:

• 5-6 bell peppers (I did a variety of colors, but the red peppers are probably the tastiest. Now, it is important that the peppers have nice bottoms because they'll need to be able to stand upright in your crock pot. So make sure you check the junk in their trunk…)
• 1 tsp black pepper
• 1 can diced tomatoes (I used the basil, oregano and garlic flavored kind – the small can, not the large can)
• 1/2 cup rice (measure out 1/2 cup, and then cook it. You should have 1 cup when it's cooked, and that's how much you need. I accidentally got excited and cooked an entire cup of rice, meaning I had about 84 cups when I was done…)
• 1 lb sweet italian turkey sausage
• 2 tbsp ketchup
• 1 tsp Worcestershire sauce   
  
• 2 tsp Italian seasoning
• 1/2 cup shredded low-fat (part skim) mozzerella cheese (plus 1/4 more for sprinkling on top)
• 2 tbsp freshly chopped parsley
• Red pepper flakes to taste (I did about 1/4 tsp)
• 1/3 cup water

(Are you seriously ready, because this is going to take like 5 seconds to get ready, and then like 7 hours to cook  but that part doesn't matter because it'll be in your crock pot). 

Cook your 1/2 cup of rice. Combine everything, except the water and 1/4 cup cheese. If you're asking me if the meat should be cooked prior to putting it in the peppers, the answer is no. Trust me – I know this feels weird, but it is all good.

Cut the "lids" off your peppers, and remove all the seeds and what I call the "fat." That's like the flimsy stuff in the cracks of the pepper that are white-ish looking? Pepper fat. It's a real thing. 

Fill each pepper to the rim with your meat mixture, and place each in your crock pot. Put the lids of the peppers back on.

Right before you're about to cook your peppers, add 1/3 cup of water to the bottom of your crock pot. Then, cook on low for 7.5 hours.

Remove the lid of your crock pot, and the lid of the peppers. Cook on high for an additional 15 minutes. Then, sprinkle each pepper with the remaining cheese, and turn on your broiler. Cook the peppers for about 5 more minutes in the broiler oven (that will make the cheese get nice and brown and bubbly).

And… enjoy! See? I was not joking when I said this would be ridiculously easy. 

Finally. A purse that charges my iPhone. Anyone have $200 I could have to buy one?

via everpurse.com

Let's talk a moment about this. They FINALLY came up with a purse that's going to charge my iPhone, meaning you no longer have to bring your iPhone charger to the bar with you and have this conversation with the bar tender:
CS: "Hey, uh – are you using that plug?"
Bartender: "Uh, yeah I kind of need it for my [insert bar appliance here – like blender]"
CS: "Oh, well, could I borrow it for like… 45 minutes? I need to charge my phone."
Bartender: "Do I need to cut you off?"
CS: "The POINT is my iPhone is going to die, and I have a tendency to wander and don't want to get lost."

Anyway – I think you get the point. This is amazing. Now, all I need to do is find $200 so I can have a snake-skin clutch that matches all my bar outfits and makes me the most wanted girl at the bar (which I think I already am anyway. Sorry, fellas!).

Weeknight Dinner: Don’t Fear the Meatloaf

So, the other day I was speaking with Mr. Grumpy (which means I was talking, and he was inserting grunts here and there to make it SEEM like he was listening) about how everyone hates meatloaf. To my surprise, Mr. G came out of his trance and proclaimed that he, the man who likes nothing and thinks everything is just ok, likes meatloaf. In fact, he claimed he liked it… a lot. 

Now, I know what you're thinking. Seriously…. MEATLOAF, Cari? Yeah man. I'm totally serious. When you find something that Mr. G likes, you make it goshdarnit. And you make it fast before he decides he doesn't like it anymore. Which is exactly what I did. 

The first time I experienced meatloaf was nothing out of the norm – in the kitchen with my mom. My sister Erin took a hiatus from meatloaf when she found out mom put mustard in it (in fact, I recall she went SCREAMING out of the room in terror when she found out, and I was left to split the loaf with Suzie Q and DS. Which is probably why I am the fat sister). Anyway, I didn't have the recipe here in the CLE for my Momma's amazingly delicious meatloaf, so I emailed Suzie Q and asked her to send it to me. Send it, she did – without any measurements (she does this ALL THE TIME when sharing recipes. I think she does it on purpose so no one's dinners are as yummy as hers, but that's really hard to prove). So, tonight, I improvised a little. And I made the meanest, most delicious meatloaf. Don't fear it, people. Get in that kitchen, roll up your sleeves and let's get cooking.

What You'll Need (don't worry, I'm measuring it out for you. Ahem…MOM):

• 1 lb ground beef (you want one that's 80-20, or 90-10 because you don't want it drying out in the oven)
• 1 lb zesty hot sausage (Bob Evans)
• 1 egg, lightly beaten
• 2/3 cup cubed bread (ok, Suzie Q said to use bread crumbs. I cubed that Light Oatmeal bread that you all know I'm obsessed with… This is because Mr. Grumpy neglects to put items back where they belong. Therefore, when I walk around the kitchen determining what we're out of for our grocery list, I think we're out of bread and buy a whole new loaf. So, I really needed to get rid of some slices before we're growing things in the cabinet… He also leaves cabinet doors open, and I tend to run into those at night when I get up to get a glass of water. It's a very dangerous environment – both physically and mentally.)
• 1 tsp seasoned salt
• 1 tsp pepper
• 1 package of Ranch dressing packet (the kind that comes in a paper bag)
• 1 tbsp onion flakes (in your spice aisle, also known as chopped onions if you're buying McCormick)
• A sprinkling of red pepper flakes (because I'm like my Uncle Scottie, I like it SPICY! I'll teach you how to make his Gould Ginny Grinders sometime. You'll need chapstick. So, I added a teaspoon, and then added a dash for luck…)
• "A couple of glugs of Worcestershire sauce" – sorry this is the only thing I didn't measure. I did 5 glugs, as Suzie Q calls them
• 2 tbsp mustard (this is where Erin would stop and say… HELL NO! Keep going Erin. Mom lied to you when she told you she stopped using mustard in her meatloaf. She lied so you would eat it. And you liked it goshdarnit.)
• 2 tbsp ketchup (I used spiced ketchup, but regular Heinz is all good), plus 1/4 cup
• 1/2 cups of milk (yes, really)
• 1/3 cup chili sauce

First, preheat your oven to 350. I forgot this part… It took exactly 10 minutes to heat up. Yes. Really. 

Next, mix the two meats together using a fork in a large mixing bowl. This is just to mix the two together, and break up the meat a bit into one hodge podge of meatiness. Next, whisk your egg, and add it into the bowl with the meat. Then, add in bread chunks, salt, pepper, Ranch dressing packet, onion flakes, red pepper flakes, glugs of Worcestershire, 2 tbsp ketchup, mustard and the milk (YES. I am SERIOUS about the MILK. Suzie Q explained that the milk makes it stay juicy in the oven. And she was right. Again.).

Now, this is the fun part. Roll up your sleeves. Take off your bracelets (or rings if you have any. I do not at the moment…). And dig those hands in there to mix it all together (gross, did you wash your hands first???). Mix with your hands until the meat hunk is all mixed  in with the spices and the mushy milk and the ketchup and mustard. Then, wash your hands again, please. You are really messy.

Now, take two loaf pans (you can actually cook this in one loaf pan, or Suzie Q makes hers in a 9X13 cake pan) and grease it with some butter. Separate the meat into the two loaf pans, and bake in the oven for 45 minutes. In the meantime, mix the remaining 1/4 cup ketchup (again, I used spiced ketchup) with the chili sauce. When the 45 minutes is up, take the loaves out of the oven. There will be some grease at the bottom of the pan – so pour the majority of it into a can or cup (Mr. G gets really grumpy when I dump it down the drain.). Cover the loaves with the chili-ketchup sauce, and bake for 12 more minutes.

We served our 'loaf with an italian salad – but you could just be really fatty like I was as a child* and just eat it with a side of Kraft mac 'n' cheese…

*Disclaimer, I am required to tell you I was NOT a fat child. Except for when I was a baby and my mom had to put sunscreen in my fat rolls… Don't judge me. I blossomed into a beautiful flower. (See below for fat roll example…)

You still love me, right?

 

Weeknight Dinner: Sizzling Pork Noodles

Think you can't live without take out? Well, I say – skip the take out and leave more time to… make out? Ok… gross.

But seriously – this takes about as much time to prepare as it would for you to be like, "Hey, Mr. Grumpy – do you want to get Chinese take out tonight?" … "I don't care…," replies Mr. G… "Well, have an opinion," CJ begs… "I mean, I guess that would be fine," says Mr. G. "Did you want something else." "No, not really." "Well where do you want to go?" "I don't know – just pick somewhere." "Ok, what do you want?" "I don't care, just pick something." "I can't just pick something – it's your dinner!" "Well, I will eat whatever." "Ugh, fine" "Do you want an egg roll?" "I guess." "Well, do you want one or not?" "That would be ok. What are you going to get?" "I don't know. I can't decide." "How about General Tso's" "No, last time it was soggy." "How about chicken lo mein?" "Well, ok, but I am really on a diet." "Woman, just tell me what you want." "I CAN'T CHOOSE!!!!!! I DON'T WANT ANYTHING!!!" … then spend 20 minutes picking from a menu… then 20 minutes driving to get it… then 20 minutes driving back… then 15 minutes sorting the bag into your and Mr. G's dinner… then 5 minutes realizing they forgot your fortune cookies…

I mean – really at this point you could have made dinner, devoured dinner, caught up on Game of Thrones, proposed getting ice cream for dessert, and gotten shot down by Mr. G who doesn't want to drive you to the ice cream shop… 

So… have we learned our lesson? Next time you want Chinese take out.. just make this delicious dinner. (We also made egg rolls that you buy in the freezer section. The box said "Made in America" which Mr. G. was very skeptical about…)

I adapted this recipe from "Help! My Apartment Has a Kitchen!" cookbook that my sister, Erin, got me for my very first apartment. It came in handy.

What You'll Need: 

• 1 pound ground pork
• 1 medium-sized white onion, chopped
• 2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
• 1 tsp finely chopped or minced fresh ginger
• 1/2 cup chili sauce (we use Heinz)
• 1/4 cup water
• 3 tbsp low-sodium soy sauce
• 1 tbsp white vinegar
• 1/4 tsp ground black pepper
• 1/4 cup cut-up baby carrots (the kind that come in a bag. I cut them into long, vertical slices, rather than circle slices)
• 1/2 cup frozen peas
• 3 green onions, chopped
• 1 tbsp sesame oil
• 2 pouches of Hoisin China noodles (they come 2 to a pack, and are in the International aisle at the store.) We buy the thicker noodles – kind of like Udon noodles, so those would work too if your store doesn't carry Hoisin. 

Ok, start timing now to see if it's really faster for you to make this then order take out. 

Next, heat up your wok pan over medium-high heat (or just a pan with high sides) and without using oil, brown your meat. This will take about 7-8 minutes, and you want the ground pork to cook into little pieces – like you would want for ground meat in a taco.

In the meantime, chop up your onion, garlic, ginger, carrots and green onions.

Next, drain your meat and place the pan (with the meat in it) back on the stove. Add 1 tbsp of sesame oil, and add the carrots, ginger, onion and garlic. Cook for 3-5 minutes, until the onions get a bit softer. Then, add in the chili sauce, water, soy sauce, vinegar and pepper. Let that cook over medium heat, uncovered for about 8 minutes (this would be a good time to cook your egg rolls if you're making them!). The sauce should cook down a bit, and that's what you want!

Next, add the frozen peas, noodles and green onions. Cook for an additional 3-4 minutes until the noodles are warm and softened up a bit.

Serve and enjoy!

Side note: This is not a spicy dish – but if you wanted to add a kick of spice, drizzle some Sriracha sauce on the top, and THEN enjoy! 

(I should also mention this dinner is not only way cheaper than Chinese take out, but also makes amazing leftovers for like… 2 days if you have a Mr. G, and 4 days if you're not sharing with anyone. Which you won't want to, and I won't judge you…).  

That took like, 20 minutes right? Oh man – I'm good.